Not just of my car’s steering
wheel, but the direction of my life.
This year marks one full year of
me driving myself crazy to work every day, while dancing to good music on
full-blast radio (not safe) or while overthinking things (not safe either),
even at times crying (not safe at all). But unlike some people who consider it
as a task or a chore, I generally enjoy driving as my me-time. It gives me a
good sense of control about how I use my time, or where I’m going.
Literally.
2017 was a good year for my
travels. Early this year my friends and I went trekking to the crater of Mount
Pinatubo via Zambales. For six hours. It is what they call a beautiful
disaster. I am too, after all the walking. My physically unfit body did not
quite sign up for that trip. My tip for other travelers is to take the easier Tarlac
route instead – same breathtaking view for less the effort.
In April, my mom and I went to
Singapore with my cousin and my nephew. Universal Studios is of course not
negotiable. I particularly liked the Revenge
of the Mummy ride, as well as the Luge ride in Sentosa island. Hundred
percent of the time I would go back to the Philippines envious but at the same
time hopeful that one day we will be at least half as good as other countries
in terms of infrastructure and overall quality of life.
The beach calms me and the
weekend warrior inside. For this year I made sure I get to squeeze in some
quality time at the beach with family and friends, from nearby Subic to the
fine sand of Morong in Bataan, to the beautiful island of Calaguas in Camarines
Norte, to the white sandbar of Kalanggaman Island in Palompon, Leyte.
My favorite though would have to
be my trip to Boracay on my pre-birthday weekend with my best friend. To
almost everyone’s surprise, it was actually my first time in Boracay. It did
not disappoint, in fact, I fell in love with the place almost instantly. I can’t
believe it took me so long to experience its worldclass beauty first-hand,
including the go-to activities in the island like bar-hopping (Pubcrawl), parasailing
and helmet diving. I’d probably go back to this place every year from now on.
Lastly, my early autumn trip to South
Korea, the land of all things cute. What started as a random “I want to go to
Korea” tweet from my friend ended up actually happening and turning out to be
my favorite international adventure so far. What made this trip really
interesting is its spontaneity. We literally have no specific plans for our
6-day stay, except to go to the Nami island, to walk around wearing Korea’s
traditional Hanbok, to eat and drink authentic Samgyeupsal and Soju, and to go
all-out in our shopping.
Shopping and travel are not the
best combination. My lifestyle is becoming more and more expensive. Cars are a
liability because they depreciate fast, not to mention the expenses for its
maintenance, insurance, and parking. But this is a price I guess I am willing
to pay for convenience and some life upgrade. In any case, I am not one to take
my personal finances for granted. I
would sometimes splurge buying stuff for myself but I generally limited going
to malls or eating out to avoid unnecessary spending. At a young age I have
several avenues for growing my money and I cannot get any prouder than that.
I take pride driving a manual
transmission car, especially considering Metro Manila traffic. Pretty badass
for certified panicker like me. Eyes on the road and on the mirrors, hands on
the steering wheel and the gears, two feet working on three pedals all at the
same time. You cannot prioritize one at the expense of another and expect the
car to move. There’s just too much work involved. Work is also most
overwhelming this year. Mostly due to the many changes in the Bank’s policies
and way of doing things. I’ve worked for instance on at least three accounts
that did not push through. Clients will lowkey make you feel like you were not
doing your job well. I already feel unaccomplished, only to be told maybe I am
not working hard enough. I pushed myself after this, trying to recover from all
my backlogs.
You see, taking control also
includes managing my emotions. I have to get
past my tendency to take everything personally thinking everything is about me.
After all, I am a full-blown (overly sensitive) 24-year old adult trying to
live a simple, enjoyable life. Struggling, people still see me cry over the
no-big-deals. Like when I feel tired, or when I missed a deadline, or when my
schedule gets fucked up. Sometimes I can’t help but be bothered even by things
that I have no control over. Later I realized that it’s okay, because my
feelings are valid, and in no way should I let other people tell me otherwise.
Driving is a lot more mental than
it is physical. People say that if you can drive in Manila, you pretty much can
drive elsewhere in the world. I should know by now that the Filipinos are basically
the worst drivers. And I cannot allow myself to be bullied by bus and
motorcycle drivers cutting me on the road. Why, because I’m a girl? So, I
learned how to be gutsy myself – legs and heart stronger one day at a time.
It’s practically the only way to survive
in this world today. Because the modern world is not only quick to judge, it
also seems to always be in a hurry. We glorify being busy. But being busy is
overrated. It gives us (and the people around us) the impression that there are
a lot of things going on with our lives, when there are so little. That’s why
it is important for me to take things slow and have some powerful downtimes. At
24, I am your very definition of a millennial Tita finding joy in watching celebrity babies on Instagram, getting
massages once or twice a month, or staying in for the weekends. My friends
would tell me to actually put myself out there, mostly so I can search for a potential boyfriend. Driving teaches you patience and I learned that exactly so I am still
patiently waiting for the right person for me. He’s probably stuck in EDSA
traffic, too, as I am.
On days when I decide to actually
go out, I am highly dependent on Waze. The app is a very useful tool for
someone like me who’s always lost. I swear: do not ask me for directions. Not
confident driving on very unfamiliar roads, I would sometimes not follow Waze’s
prescribed routes – similar to when we don’t feel like going out of our comfort
zone. I remember making a wrong turn driving from our Manila-Nakpil branch (I’m
based at Commonwealth so this is not my usual drive home) that led me to the
Divisoria area. And by the Divisoria area, I’m talking about the tiangge parts.
You can guess at this point I am almost in tears – my legs hurt, I am nervous
and I am hungry. I arrived home one hour later than I should, but I still got
home nevertheless. This year I made a few bad life decisions, I’d say some
really bad ones. But it comforts me knowing that I will always be redirected
back on track. I just need to keep on driving.
Just like how tailgating needs to
be avoided, I also learned this year to distance myself from toxic people or toxic
relationships. As I grow old I realize that I will continue meeting temporary
people in my life and it is perfectly fine to let some go. It is hard enough
for millennials keeping ourselves sane (haha), what more keeping those who are
bad for our mental health. It is best, therefore, to only maintain friendships
that grow, serve, and build you.
Choose people who choose you.
And I plan to do just that this
2018, especially with the impending bank-wide reorganization. As I write this, my
new assignment has been made official. By January, I will be under a new
department in the Head Office. I am scared of the traffic that I will have to
go through every day from Malabon to Makati, but I’m also looking forward to
this big change. That means new bosses, new colleagues and new challenges. I
consider both the RMC and the Commonwealth branch my second home away from
home, and here I met some of my forever persons. I could have easily made a
choice to stay in Quezon City for the sake of convenience, but I decided
otherwise for better growth opportunities.
In the end, I can say that 2017
is still a good year for me, knowing fully that I am in control. There have been, and there will always be
bumps along the way, but it also gets better from there. To avoid accidents, we cannot be
distracted. Life is an everyday journey, and
it’s a beautiful one. The pathways to our destinations are seldom clear – there
will always be road works. But the more focused we are on the road, the more
exciting the ride can be.
To a smoother drive this 2018.
Cheers!
Already (over)thinking her next
year’s journey,
krtrt
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