2024: The Big Move

Many people think I'm very independent, but that's probably because they see me doing things alone: going to concerts, watching movies, and even flying solo. Growing up, however, I am a real-life Disney princess who never had to lift a single finger at home. My family literally does all the chores for me. I would sometimes cook rice or wash the dishes, but that's about it. Never doing the laundry, never cleaning the toilet, and definitely not anything that involves the kitchen. We never had any household help all our lives either, only my superwoman of a mom waking up at the wee hours, cooking me breakfast and baon for lunch, pressing my clothes everyday–basically preparing everything for me. All I ever needed to do as a child was to study. While that meant I had it easy in life, that also meant I still have a lot of things to learn and a lot of growing up to do. 

And so this year I finally made what could be the boldest decision of my life so far: moving out of Malabon, forcing myself to live independently. The idea of moving out has been lingering at the back of my head for quite a while, but somehow it just would not materialize. Until one fine afternoon, while I was doomscrolling through social media, I saw a property posting that caught my attention. Shortly after, I did a visit/viewing and the next thing I know I'm working on various paperworks related to its purchase. Only my siblings and a few close friends know about it, as I am keeping it as lowkey as possible until everything gets sorted out. Not even my parents know. But largely because I'm not sure how they would react to it. Mad? Confused why? Worried? After all, this is not something really common in our Filipino culture. In fact this is a whole new experience for the family, having someone to move out without marrying (at least not yet). It was initially meant to be a big surprise, but I realized I also wanted to involve them in such a major decision. Lucky me they have been very supportive so far. Too supportive even, that I am starting to think it's possible they may have been waiting for me to leave.

Kidding aside, I can already tell the big difference with only three months in. Of course there will be disadvantages to it, but it has so far been outweighed by the many advantages in terms of learning, convenience, character development and growth. First, the convenience of living ~10 minutes by foot away from my workplace is unmatched. Not only does it save me gas and parking money, I also get to save a minimum of two hours of my time and energy per day to work on things that actually matter instead of wasting it in the worsening Metro Manila traffic. I've seen health-related improvements too: I now get to sleep 7-8 hours without worrying I'll be late for work, plus walking to and from the office forces me to complete my daily steps. Saying yes to catch-up dinners or weekend invites likewise became even easier now that I live nearby. My new setup takes a lot of getting used to, and I would say I'm still transitioning at this point. Following a slowly but surely approach, I have started developing a routine that appears to be both effective and efficient for my purposes. I'm proud of these baby steps, especially those related to cooking no matter how basic.

You can tell I'm enjoying this new life so far. Would I rather have done this earlier? Maybe. But also not really. As with other things, everything falls perfectly at the right time, and when we're ready. My prayer (verbatim) leading to this property purchase is for God to guide me through this decision, so that the space I'm creating for myself becomes a source of comfort, growth and refuge. God did not just grant said prayer, He showered me with so much more blessings, literally making me cry happy tears over that 1:49AM email, giving my heart utmost relief.

Relief also comes from the fulfillment and stability I feel with where I am career-wise. Almost three years after joining the BSP (See full story in my 2022 year-end blog: 2022: Dreams), I can say I have made significant progress at work although the learning curve remains steep. With more exposure to banking supervision and across different risk areas, I get to develop relevant skills to become a better bank examiner. I also hope to eventually reach my potential and gain more confidence, especially on the technical side. While I still get overwhelmed at times, at least emotional spirals are minimized, aka no more crying every assignment. As cliché and cheesy as this may sound, I do not see myself working elsewhere. Grateful as well to the old and new friendships nurtured through this job. 

Apart from moving out, there are other milestones or important events worth mentioning this 2024: the celebration of our dad's 60th birthday with friends and family, weddings of two of my closest friends, another LANY concert, a solo trip to Boracay and some family trips to Coron and Rizal, and of course a UAAP basketball championship for UP. In between those days, I also managed to appreciate the more mundane: gym sessions, self-care facials, exchange of Instagram reels and memes, movies and musicals, catchup dinners or bonding over food, meaningful conversations, and random phone calls or after-work debrief, etc. But also to navigate through: confusion, heartbreak, rejection and disappointments, impulse buying or poor financial decisions. I guess my realization this year (and I keep repeating this to myself) is that no matter the situation, it is important to simply show up. 

You know what else showed up? The cherry blossoms in Japan. I feel so blessed being able to share my first ever spring experience with my parents. Best believe I was ecstatic seeing the sakuras practically everywhere, but more particularly that whole stretch near the Osaka Castle. It was too beautiful and dreamy. The full bloom of the cherry blossoms was initially forecasted at around March 25 to 28, a week before our trip. Anxious, I would regularly search on Instagram geotags to check if the flowers are already in full bloom to manage my expectations. Luckily they came unusually late this year. I will forever tell this story as a reminder that God's timing is always perfect. 

Coming into 2025, I am looking forward to celebrating mom's 60th birthday (i.e. I'm excited for the additional senior citizen discount that comes with it haha), my sister coming home, some domestic travels, at least six fieldwork/bank assignments, a few concerts and more weddings of friends. These special occasions are equally as exciting as the days in between.  

Hoping my story this year inspires you to keep the faith and to make that move in your life, whether big or small. And lastly to trust God's perfect timing in your life, like I have done this year and in the past––my delaying gratification mantra serving me so damn well. Thank you, 2024. You were truly amazing. 

Happy New Year and thanks for reading!

Love, 

KRTRT 💕

2023: Dust settles

If you know me long enough you'll know the story about how it took nine long years for my dream of joining the BSP to materialize. But while it was everything I hoped and prayed for in 2022, the transition to my new role (at a new environment, with people I barely know at that time) shook me to the core. To say the least–I was lost, disoriented, and confused. 

In 2023, I believe the dust surrounding such a life-changing move has started to settle, albeit not completely. I have since been well-adjusted although time and again my emotions would still roller coaster, throwing existential crisis questions and things like that. But the perspective has changed and the disposition has significantly improved. 

One random afternoon, in the middle of endless scrolling on social media, I encountered something that struck me. It read, "If you weren't capable, the opportunity would have never come your way. You belong." Much like an epiphany, it occurred to me that maybe I am already where I should be, at exactly the right time. From there, I decided embracing the life I was given, because I was given this life for a reason. And because I am strong enough to live it.

To get to this point, however, entailed outgrowing (or putting off) certain things I used to like or enjoy in the past to make room for new ones. It can go as trivial as my favorite Mendokoro ramen which seems to taste differently now. Surprisingly this even included slowing down on taking too many trips than usual. Slowing down does not mean stopping though, and to be fair I still managed to fly to Boracay and Hongkong, and in La Union. Apart from the constraints associated with having quite a hectic work schedule to even fit quick getaways, travels get tiring physically and mentally too. (To be honest, it is already a blur trying to recall how in my 20s I can go straight from the airport to work and still have the energy.) A friend once commented, "Grabe noh, nagtrabaho lang tayo the whole year?". And although this may sound sad for other people, it is surprising that I am actually fine by it partly because I have already accepted it as just a small price to pay to build up the life I recently chose. I see this as a temporary trade-off I'm willing to take to establish something bigger, more tangible, and more stable.

Favorite assignment so far 

All these, while I focus on more important things specifically the career I am trying to build. The learning curve remains steep even twenty months and eight onsite assignments after, but I am also kinder to myself to acknowledge my progress, no matter how little.

In August, I was assigned to be in-charge for the TML examination of a digital bank for the first time, an experience I immensely enjoyed despite some challenges and tight deadlines. It is such a peat to be able to finish the engagement without necessarily breaking down mentally (haha) and with pretty reasonable feedback at that. With this being easily my favorite assignment so far, I would not have it any other way for my first DEIC role.

          Hyper, no more. 14 April 2023

Slowing down also means enjoying the weekends at home doing nothing, drinking coffee, catching up on sleep, whatever. And since we are not getting any younger at 30, I also had a renewed sense of putting my health as a priority. As early as 2014, a lump in my left neck became noticeable. I would go back and forth with medication throughout all these years, only for it to recur. My stubborn self would just shrug it off practically unalarmed. Fast forward to April 2023, I had my first ever surgery to finally address my longstanding hyperthyroidism. I wish it did not take me years (eight years to be exact) to finally undergo partial thyroidectomy, because I have never felt healthier. It is amazing how one surgery corrected a lot of issues in my body (among others): significantly less hairfall, better sleep, improved tolerance to hot temperature, balanced hormones. The only downside is the resulting slowdown in metabolism, making it difficult for me to maintain or lose weight, which I'm trying to manage now by signing up for a gym membership nearby. Thankful to my family and friends for supporting me during this time, as well as to the best team of doctors at PGH. To be honest, I was hesitant to receive the procedure from PGH at first due to many misconceptions, but everything actually went smoothly and we are completely satisfied with their services. 

KSH, Neyo, Westlife, Honne, Lauv, Zack
 

Other 2023 highlights include attending various events/concerts of my favorite artists: Kim Seon Ho fanmeet, Neyo, Westlife, Honne, Lauv, Hamilton, and Zack Tabudlo. This year I also attended my friends' weddings one after another, including that of my bestfriend's, as well as my first ever destination wedding in Bohol. While for this new year, I have at least six onsite assignments lined up, plus an international trip and several domestic trips booked. I am also looking forward to attend the weddings of some of my closest friends, as well as the 60th birthday party we are arranging for dad. 

2023 will always be a special year for me, a milestone year as I turned 30. The big 3 and 0, as they say. Unlike the others, I loveeeeee being at this age and I consider this as just the start of my 'prime' years ahead of me. Sometimes I don't understand why some people prefer the 20s? At 30: I know better (or at least I think I do), I can support my needs and wants, I can buy nice things, I get to choose my circle, and I depend on myself. Generally speaking, life is reasonably comfortable. 

Despite not being comfortable all the time. I would go as far a comparison the chaotic but ever so alive New York City where literally I was at January 1st to how things were at the start of the year. But the calm and the steady resulting from the dust that settled in 2023 is something I would bring coming into 2024: to fully embrace the present, to enjoy even the most mundane of things, and to find peace in it. Quiet, and undisturbed.

Love, 

KRTRT

P.S. Funny how it took this long to publish the year-end blog. Life happened. The past month felt like an extension of 2023 in my life calendar. I even considered skipping this year in favor of creating a 2023 reel, because who still writes a blog to this day? But since I am extra AF, and also it is my 15th year (!!!) doing this, I'm doing both. Thanks for reading/watching. Happy Chinese New Year!

2022: Dreams

I will not miss it for the world: you know, writing about the year my life changed forever...

The year I joined THE. BSP. (Goosebumps, to be freaking honest.)

Thank You, Lord! From "One day" to "Day One" ♥ 

It was mid-2021 when the whole application process started: pre-employment exam, interviews, and submission of documents, among others. It was as if everything was going so smoothly in the span of about 2-3 months...and then a LOT of waiting came after that.

I thought I was cool with waiting. This experience, however, was different. My life was literally put on hold, not hearing from anyone for about seven more months. Believe me when I say: seven more months of being in limbo, not having clear direction, and pretty much feeling lost...WAS. CRAZY. Even to me who's been pulling off the delaying gratification mantra since forever. To some extent, I felt defeated.

There was also a lot of crying randomly at random times of the day. Any update no matter how small would make me jump off my feet in anticipation, only sometimes the excitement would turn into frustrations. And the frustrations would build up into bitterness. It had me asking myself: is this the right dream for me? My prayer during this time was simple—and I remember this very vividly—to understand why, and to have a clear cut answer whether this is really meant for me. If not, I would have gladly stayed with DBP. After all, this has been my home and comfort zone for the past eight years.

It took a little over 10 months in total. AND AT LEAST EIGHT YEARS BACK. This is the first time I'm telling this story openly. While everything is progressing, I can't help but look back at my many conversations with friends since 2013. Happy to share some in here, primarily so we can be soft together. 

To say the least, THE DREAM HAS ALWAYS BEEN BSP. A dream NINE years in the making. TYL for making 2022 the year my "One Day" turned into "Day One"!

I want it, I got it. My heart lowkey kept yearning for it. Fast forward to May 2022 when I officially joined BSP. It is not the dream employer/institution for most of us in the banking industry for nothing. I can personally attest why with only eight months in. People are not only professional, they are evidently competent especially considering the technicalities of bank supervision. You see, the role is completely new to me, despite supposedly having a background in both economics and banking. Being the newbie is indeed quite humbling. Lacking the institutional knowledge about regulations, my emotions would spiral every time I am assigned one bank engagement after another. Fortunately, CATSD has so far been welcoming and accommodating with even my most basic and probably stupid questions. Grateful as well for new friendships!

5 rallies, 2 mall walks, 1 HQ gathering, 1 H2H

The transition to this new life was not easy for me. Government agency transfer does not allow a gap in service and so I did not have a lot of time to let everything sink in—ESPECIALLY while I'm still grieving what could be the biggest heartbreak of my life: the results of #Halalan2022. A shattered dream if you ask me. Best believe I was DEVASTATED. But I know I will be fine regardless, so I grieve not for myself but for those who have been victims of the poor education and political system in the country. Despite this, I believe the seed has already been planted. Damn, there was HOPE. There still IS. My active involvement both online and on the ground will always be core memory to me. I would gladly do it again in a heartbeat. 

Another dream of mine is to live a life that I genuinely enjoy. Obviously for me, this involves less about material things and a lot about travel and other experiences. Guess I was plain lucky this year. Domestic travels include Baguio with the entire fam, a liberating solo trip to Cebu City, and at least three separate trips to (drumroll, please) MY Boracay. I also got to see my favorite artists perform in concerts—Jeremy Zucker in October, LANY in November, and Ben&Ben in December. Indeed, beach trips and live music keep me alive. Looking forward to more this 2023.

To cap it all off, my sister, cousin, nephew and I went to one of the world's dreamiest destinations to celebrate the holidays. Oh, New York. New York was amazing. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, indeed. Hate the tipping culture, though. My favorite would have to be Central Park where nature and urban life coexist, in all its picturesque glory. Of course, we also went to the Statue of Liberty, which I jokingly refer to as the Statue of Kimberly in social media. It was likewise pretty emotional to watch Hamilton as my first-ever Broadway show, and in the greatest city in the world, at that. In terms of food, nothing was super exceptional to me, except for sure for the Michelin-star Peter Luger steak in Brooklyn. Aside from NYC, I likewise stayed in Los Angeles for a week, with my solo visit to Disneyland as the highlight. That fireworks display in front of the famous Sleeping Beauty castle was spectacular and simply so pleasing to the eyes. I'm not even exaggerating when I say my always-emotional self felt all possible emotions all at the same time.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of!

For 2023 moving forward, my wish is to not mishandle what I prayed for. Easy to say I've chased some dreams this year. But not without some hurdles. I'd be happy to know if at least one person will be inspired by this story. That what is meant for you, won't pass you by. Amidst all the waiting, my key takeaway from this year is simply that waiting seasons are not wasted seasons. The universe, and ultimately God, is preparing us to receive the fullness of our heart's desires. 

Let me end with what one of my closest friends shared with me: a relevant quote from the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, "And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." 

Trust me. Chase that dream. I'm happy I did.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Love, KRTRT