Many people think I'm very independent, but that's probably because they see me doing things alone: going to concerts, watching movies, and even flying solo. Growing up, however, I am a real-life Disney princess who never had to lift a single finger at home. My family literally does all the chores for me. I would sometimes cook rice or wash the dishes, but that's about it. Never doing the laundry, never cleaning the toilet, and definitely not anything that involves the kitchen. We never had any household help all our lives either, only my superwoman of a mom waking up at the wee hours, cooking me breakfast and baon for lunch, pressing my clothes everyday–basically preparing everything for me. All I ever needed to do as a child was to study. While that meant I had it easy in life, that also meant I still have a lot of things to learn and a lot of growing up to do.
And so this year I finally made what could be the boldest decision of my life so far: moving out of Malabon, forcing myself to live independently. The idea of moving out has been lingering at the back of my head for quite a while, but somehow it just would not materialize. Until one fine afternoon, while I was doomscrolling through social media, I saw a property posting that caught my attention. Shortly after, I did a visit/viewing and the next thing I know I'm working on various paperworks related to its purchase. Only my siblings and a few close friends know about it, as I am keeping it as lowkey as possible until everything gets sorted out. Not even my parents know. But largely because I'm not sure how they would react to it. Mad? Confused why? Worried? After all, this is not something really common in our Filipino culture. In fact this is a whole new experience for the family, having someone to move out without marrying (at least not yet). It was initially meant to be a big surprise, but I realized I also wanted to involve them in such a major decision. Lucky me they have been very supportive so far. Too supportive even, that I am starting to think it's possible they may have been waiting for me to leave.
Kidding aside, I can already tell the big difference with only three months in. Of course there will be disadvantages to it, but it has so far been outweighed by the many advantages in terms of learning, convenience, character development and growth. First, the convenience of living ~10 minutes by foot away from my workplace is unmatched. Not only does it save me gas and parking money, I also get to save a minimum of two hours of my time and energy per day to work on things that actually matter instead of wasting it in the worsening Metro Manila traffic. I've seen health-related improvements too: I now get to sleep 7-8 hours without worrying I'll be late for work, plus walking to and from the office forces me to complete my daily steps. Saying yes to catch-up dinners or weekend invites likewise became even easier now that I live nearby. My new setup takes a lot of getting used to, and I would say I'm still transitioning at this point. Following a slowly but surely approach, I have started developing a routine that appears to be both effective and efficient for my purposes. I'm proud of these baby steps, especially those related to cooking no matter how basic.
You can tell I'm enjoying this new life so far. Would I rather have done this earlier? Maybe. But also not really. As with other things, everything falls perfectly at the right time, and when we're ready. My prayer (verbatim) leading to this property purchase is for God to guide me through this decision, so that the space I'm creating for myself becomes a source of comfort, growth and refuge. God did not just grant said prayer, He showered me with so much more blessings, literally making me cry happy tears over that 1:49AM email, giving my heart utmost relief.
Relief also comes from the fulfillment and stability I feel with where I am career-wise. Almost three years after joining the BSP (See full story in my 2022 year-end blog: 2022: Dreams), I can say I have made significant progress at work although the learning curve remains steep. With more exposure to banking supervision and across different risk areas, I get to develop relevant skills to become a better bank examiner. I also hope to eventually reach my potential and gain more confidence, especially on the technical side. While I still get overwhelmed at times, at least emotional spirals are minimized, aka no more crying every assignment. As cliché and cheesy as this may sound, I do not see myself working elsewhere. Grateful as well to the old and new friendships nurtured through this job.
Apart from moving out, there are other milestones or important events worth mentioning this 2024: the celebration of our dad's 60th birthday with friends and family, weddings of two of my closest friends, another LANY concert, a solo trip to Boracay and some family trips to Coron and Rizal, and of course a UAAP basketball championship for UP. In between those days, I also managed to appreciate the more mundane: gym sessions, self-care facials, exchange of Instagram reels and memes, movies and musicals, catchup dinners or bonding over food, meaningful conversations, and random phone calls or after-work debrief, etc. But also to navigate through: confusion, heartbreak, rejection and disappointments, impulse buying or poor financial decisions. I guess my realization this year (and I keep repeating this to myself) is that no matter the situation, it is important to simply show up.
You know what else showed up? The cherry blossoms in Japan. I feel so blessed being able to share my first ever spring experience with my parents. Best believe I was ecstatic seeing the sakuras practically everywhere, but more particularly that whole stretch near the Osaka Castle. It was too beautiful and dreamy. The full bloom of the cherry blossoms was initially forecasted at around March 25 to 28, a week before our trip. Anxious, I would regularly search on Instagram geotags to check if the flowers are already in full bloom to manage my expectations. Luckily they came unusually late this year. I will forever tell this story as a reminder that God's timing is always perfect.
Coming into 2025, I am looking forward to celebrating mom's 60th birthday (i.e. I'm excited for the additional senior citizen discount that comes with it haha), my sister coming home, some domestic travels, at least six fieldwork/bank assignments, a few concerts and more weddings of friends. These special occasions are equally as exciting as the days in between.
Hoping my story this year inspires you to keep the faith and to make that move in your life, whether big or small. And lastly to trust God's perfect timing in your life, like I have done this year and in the past––my delaying gratification mantra serving me so damn well. Thank you, 2024. You were truly amazing.
Happy New Year and thanks for reading!
Love,
KRTRT 💕
No comments:
Post a Comment