2023: Dust settles

If you know me long enough you'll know the story about how it took nine long years for my dream of joining the BSP to materialize. But while it was everything I hoped and prayed for in 2022, the transition to my new role (at a new environment, with people I barely know at that time) shook me to the core. To say the least–I was lost, disoriented, and confused. 

In 2023, I believe the dust surrounding such a life-changing move has started to settle, albeit not completely. I have since been well-adjusted although time and again my emotions would still roller coaster, throwing existential crisis questions and things like that. But the perspective has changed and the disposition has significantly improved. 

One random afternoon, in the middle of endless scrolling on social media, I encountered something that struck me. It read, "If you weren't capable, the opportunity would have never come your way. You belong." Much like an epiphany, it occurred to me that maybe I am already where I should be, at exactly the right time. From there, I decided embracing the life I was given, because I was given this life for a reason. And because I am strong enough to live it.

To get to this point, however, entailed outgrowing (or putting off) certain things I used to like or enjoy in the past to make room for new ones. It can go as trivial as my favorite Mendokoro ramen which seems to taste differently now. Surprisingly this even included slowing down on taking too many trips than usual. Slowing down does not mean stopping though, and to be fair I still managed to fly to Boracay and Hongkong, and in La Union. Apart from the constraints associated with having quite a hectic work schedule to even fit quick getaways, travels get tiring physically and mentally too. (To be honest, it is already a blur trying to recall how in my 20s I can go straight from the airport to work and still have the energy.) A friend once commented, "Grabe noh, nagtrabaho lang tayo the whole year?". And although this may sound sad for other people, it is surprising that I am actually fine by it partly because I have already accepted it as just a small price to pay to build up the life I recently chose. I see this as a temporary trade-off I'm willing to take to establish something bigger, more tangible, and more stable.

Favorite assignment so far 

All these, while I focus on more important things specifically the career I am trying to build. The learning curve remains steep even twenty months and eight onsite assignments after, but I am also kinder to myself to acknowledge my progress, no matter how little.

In August, I was assigned to be in-charge for the TML examination of a digital bank for the first time, an experience I immensely enjoyed despite some challenges and tight deadlines. It is such a peat to be able to finish the engagement without necessarily breaking down mentally (haha) and with pretty reasonable feedback at that. With this being easily my favorite assignment so far, I would not have it any other way for my first DEIC role.

          Hyper, no more. 14 April 2023

Slowing down also means enjoying the weekends at home doing nothing, drinking coffee, catching up on sleep, whatever. And since we are not getting any younger at 30, I also had a renewed sense of putting my health as a priority. As early as 2014, a lump in my left neck became noticeable. I would go back and forth with medication throughout all these years, only for it to recur. My stubborn self would just shrug it off practically unalarmed. Fast forward to April 2023, I had my first ever surgery to finally address my longstanding hyperthyroidism. I wish it did not take me years (eight years to be exact) to finally undergo partial thyroidectomy, because I have never felt healthier. It is amazing how one surgery corrected a lot of issues in my body (among others): significantly less hairfall, better sleep, improved tolerance to hot temperature, balanced hormones. The only downside is the resulting slowdown in metabolism, making it difficult for me to maintain or lose weight, which I'm trying to manage now by signing up for a gym membership nearby. Thankful to my family and friends for supporting me during this time, as well as to the best team of doctors at PGH. To be honest, I was hesitant to receive the procedure from PGH at first due to many misconceptions, but everything actually went smoothly and we are completely satisfied with their services. 

KSH, Neyo, Westlife, Honne, Lauv, Zack
 

Other 2023 highlights include attending various events/concerts of my favorite artists: Kim Seon Ho fanmeet, Neyo, Westlife, Honne, Lauv, Hamilton, and Zack Tabudlo. This year I also attended my friends' weddings one after another, including that of my bestfriend's, as well as my first ever destination wedding in Bohol. While for this new year, I have at least six onsite assignments lined up, plus an international trip and several domestic trips booked. I am also looking forward to attend the weddings of some of my closest friends, as well as the 60th birthday party we are arranging for dad. 

2023 will always be a special year for me, a milestone year as I turned 30. The big 3 and 0, as they say. Unlike the others, I loveeeeee being at this age and I consider this as just the start of my 'prime' years ahead of me. Sometimes I don't understand why some people prefer the 20s? At 30: I know better (or at least I think I do), I can support my needs and wants, I can buy nice things, I get to choose my circle, and I depend on myself. Generally speaking, life is reasonably comfortable. 

Despite not being comfortable all the time. I would go as far a comparison the chaotic but ever so alive New York City where literally I was at January 1st to how things were at the start of the year. But the calm and the steady resulting from the dust that settled in 2023 is something I would bring coming into 2024: to fully embrace the present, to enjoy even the most mundane of things, and to find peace in it. Quiet, and undisturbed.

Love, 

KRTRT

P.S. Funny how it took this long to publish the year-end blog. Life happened. The past month felt like an extension of 2023 in my life calendar. I even considered skipping this year in favor of creating a 2023 reel, because who still writes a blog to this day? But since I am extra AF, and also it is my 15th year (!!!) doing this, I'm doing both. Thanks for reading/watching. Happy Chinese New Year!